Tags - journal
It’s 01:18 on 4th January 2025. I’m lying in bed in a hotel called voco Oxford. Maria and I are here for a weekend away. It’s our first weekend away since having children. So the first for about 5 years.
It’s a short weekend because it took us most of Friday to drop Frank at Sue’s and Mabel and mom and dad’s and we didn’t arrive at the hotel until after 17:00. We’ll leave on Sunday in time to collect to the kids and put them to bed by 6.
That’s partly explains why I’m so frustrated by the fact that I’ve been unable to sleep. It’s our only full day tomorrow and I don’t want to feel like a zombie and not enjoy it.
I realise that getting frustrated will not help me go to sleep. Of course I do. I’m no stranger to insomnia. In fact, it’s been a frequent guest recently.
I’ve been off work for a couple of weeks now for Christmas and new year. Before then, I was feeling burnt out, lacking direction, and totally absent of energy to do pretty much anything. I could analyse the reasons for that until the cows come home, but I’d rather look forward.
What I know about sleep is that it’s much better when I exercise every day. Even if I’m not fully relaxed, having exercised well is enough for me to drop into a deep sleep. I want to do better than that, though. I want to create optimal health. Great sleep is part of that picture. But it’s not the only cog in the machine - others need to be turning to make the sleep cog turn smoothly and my overall health (the machine, in my weird analogy) to run optimally.
Some other things I could do to develop good sleep and health… bed time routine with stretching, meditation, structural tension and focussing exercise, cleaning and bed at the same time every day. A consistent wake time. Morning exercise - including weight training (that seems to impact sleep more than other forms of exercise - or at least I notice when I don’t do it for a while). More: journaling. This is a really effective way to get my thoughts down and out of my mind. Like I’m doing now. Incidentally, it’s could also be a great way to begin my goal of mastering the craft of writing. I say that because for a long term goal like this, a phased approach - in which phase 1 involves laying the foundations; building skills, confidence and momentum for later stages - can be effective. Journaling is writing. And it’s writing in private - without fear of what other people will think (because nobody will see it) and without any demands on the quality of the writing itself. It’s just a way to practice writing down whatever is on my mind. Plus, if I journal, most often, about my pursuit of my health goal, it will also help me focus on that. Better health, and better writing, will be a good foundation. It will lead to better sleep. Which in itself is a good foundation for all else in life.
Anyway, it’s now 01:41. I feel much more relaxed for writing this. Even if I don’t get much sleep tonight, and it affects my day tomorrow, I can still choose to live in the moment and enjoy it. It has also made me more determined to make some changes in my life that will result in better sleep and overall health. So that’s a good thing to come from my lack of sleep so far this evening/morning.
And with all of that said, I’m on holiday, and I can wake up whenever I want. I can get up at 6 and go to the gym if I want to. Then potentially have a nap later to recharge. Or I can wake up a 10, and get 8 hours of sleep. So all is not lost. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, as the saying goes.